Satirist attacks!!

Good Sunday morning everyone. Did you wake up to this same fake Cooperatively Yours letter on your floor that I did? I’m not sure who’s got an axe to grind and time on their hands, but it’s actually kind of funny:

“There are many issues facing us and we must meet these with brazen emotion and a myopic mass focus to ensure nothing changes our aggregated indignation.”

“I don’t want to be sensationalistic or provocative, but do you really want our buildings to be taken over by food-delivery people carrying assault rifles? We need better security now!”

“What we need right now is real-time GPS monitoring of all the management and maintenance personnel. How many times have you impatiently waited for maintenance to come while your faucet kept dripping? How often have you wondered what management really does all day?”

Sounds like someone’s already preparing for our 2016 coop election. But why would directors not also get GPS monitoring? Why not every new shareholder? I’ll take this set of proposals as just a first draft …